2 months new

I can hardly believe that Eleanor is 2 months old already. It has been such a whirlwind since the day she was born. Even this far in, we still feel like we are in survival mode. For a little bit, she was going 3 hours start to start between feedings, and we were able to actually leave the house and go somewhere besides the doctor, like Barnes & Noble or a restaurant. Or, if we were really lucky, both! Sleep is still elusive, but we are learning to live on less. Most days we are lucky to eat 3 meals and get showers. Seriously. I wonder, is it like this for everyone or are we doing something wrong?

So that's how we are doing. But what everyone really wants to know is, how's Eleanor doing?

She is doing great! She is slowly getting into a routine, where she has a feeding, then some awake time, then goes down for a nap. We don't always get in the awake time or the nap. Sometimes it's either/or. But on a good day, this is the routine. She is nursing every 2 hours, start to start, for about an hour each time. This only leaves an hour for her awake time/nap. When we do give her a bottle of my expressed milk, she takes about 3.5 oz. We typically do this at night, so that I can get a little more rest. I still have to pump, but that doesn't require as much time or attention as when I'm nursing her.

All of this is about to change though. At her last doctor visit, she weighed 8 lbs, 12 oz and was 21 inches long. She is still not gaining weight like she should, which is why we went back to nursing every 2 hours. So the current plan is to nurse her as often as she wants and then give her a bottle of expressed milk (between 2-2.5 oz). This means I am nursing her for about 30 minutes and then pumping whatever I can to be given at the next feeding. It is exhausting, but will be worth it, if it works! We have a feeling that she may go longer between feedings, since she will be more satisfied and full. This was true yesterday, when she did a couple of 2.5-3 hour stretches. Nursing is still her favorite thing to do. I think she feels very comforted and secure, which is why she often falls asleep on me! Probably also why she isn't gaining good. We are hoping for a big weight gain when we go for another weight check on Monday. The last time we gave her a bottle supplement after each feeding, she gained 8 0z in 4 days!

During her awake time, she enjoys looking at the fan. Seriously, she just stares at it and smiles. She even tries to talk to it a little. It is the cutest thing! She also enjoys looking at our faces and smiling at us. She isn't very big into toys yet, but she has a stuffed owl toy that makes a tinkling sound that she enjoys. She likes to look at herself in the mirror as well. From early on, she has enjoyed looking at the prints of London that are framed on the wall above our couch. These are a sepia tone in a gallery style frame (white mat, dark frame). She loves to stare at these. She doesn't smile at then, just looks. There are also some pictures of our trip to Ireland hanging above her crib in a gallery style frame, and she likes to look at these, too. We like to think it's because she will be a world traveler one day!

She still enjoys going outside, even in this hot, humid Mississippi weather. We have taken her for a stroller ride around the neighborhood a few times, and she seems to enjoy this. She also enjoys sucking on her paci and moving her arms and legs around. She is so strong! Practically since birth, she has been pushing off of us with her legs and trying to hold her head up. She is getting a little more coordinated with this and seems to be able to bring her head back down more gently than before. She does this most often when we are holding her. Perhaps she is just trying to see our faces. Soon she will be ready for tummy time! She's not too crazy about it yet. We have caught her a few times trying to watch tv. It must be a combination of the sound, lights, and movement. We try to redirect her attention to something else (the fan?). Too much stimulation makes for a fussy baby!

And when she starts yawning or getting fussy, we know that it is time for a nap! She really loves to sleep on our chests or in our arms, and as much as we love this time of cuddling, we are trying to get her to sleep independently in her crib. She likes to have her horror music (as Brad calls it) playing during nap time. This is a track of womb sounds, basically white noise, that we play on her ipod. It helps to calm her down and keep her from waking too much. She does okay for her day time naps. Sometimes she will sleep for 30 minutes or longer. Other times, she doesn't really sleep at all. She typically goes longer stretches at night. Last night was her best sleep yet! She went down around 9 and slept until midnight, then went back down around 1 and slept until 5, both times without either of us having to go in the room after she went down. This is unprecedented! Hope she can do it again tonight. We were both able to get a lot more sleep than usual (and at the same time!).

For now she is sleeping in her bouncy seat which is in her crib, because she has pretty bad reflux. This helps to elevate her head, so she is awakened by the reflux in the night. She is now taking Prevacid once per day, which has helped a lot. Before starting this med, it seemed that if she wasn't eating or sleeping, she was fussy and crying. Now, she actually has happy awake time and is able to interact with us in a more positive way. We just LOVE our pediatrician, Dr Myers. She is wonderful. She takes time at Eleanor's appointments to really listen and figure out what is going on. She doesn't just examine Eleanor and give her back, but she holds her and cuddles her. When we went yesterday for her weight check and discovered she hadn't gained any weight, Dr M came in to talk to us about it, even though we didn't have an appointment. And we weren't charged for the visit either. I am so happy to have found such a wonderful doctor for Eleanor!

As exhausting as the past 2 months have been, we couldn't be more in love with our little girl! I'm looking forward to what the next month brings. I hear things get really good around 3 months...

Thoughts on breastfeeding

I knew when I was pregnant with Eleanor that I wanted to breastfeed her for as long as possible. I was encouraged to do this by seeing friends who had been successful. But I had no idea how hard this would be. Really. I guess I just thought it would come naturally. It has truly been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know that I wouldn't be able to do it without the support of Brad and our friends and family, especially my mom. I can't imagine doing this alone!

I thought it would be easier by now, but 9 weeks in, it is still difficult. It seems that we have one challenge after another. At the hospital, Eleanor did great with nursing. When we got home, she began to have latching issues, since she was so small. Fortunately, a nurse at the newborn clinic gave us a shield to use, which helped Eleanor t0 latch on and be able to nurse. The only problem with this is that she became dependent on it and now that she is big enough to nurse on her own, we are having trouble weaning her from it. Aside from the latch issue, I've had problems with clogged milk ducts several times and nipple pain from thrush. Recently, Eleanor has needed to go back to eating every 2 hours because her weight gain had slowed, and initially my milk supply hadn't caught up with her demand for it. Coupled with the shield, it seemed she couldn't get the milk as fast as she wanted it, so she would become fussy and frustrated. Although I was pumping every 2 hours as well, I wasn't able to pump enough to supplement her feedings. Thankfully, this seems to be getting better.

I want so badly to be able to nurse her for at least the first year. There are days when I'm not sure this will be possible. It's hard on Brad as well, and he's even started using the f-word (formula). I think things are 10x harder with a baby when you are nursing. It would be so much easier to just give in and use formula. But I don't want to take the easy way out. I am so blessed to be able to nurse my daughter. There are plenty of people who want desperately to be able to nurse their babies, but for whatever reason just aren't able to do so. I know that breastfeeding is the best thing that I can do for her, and the time we spend nursing is so special for both of us. I just love the bond we share. Seeing her sweet face getting all the nourishment she needs from my body helps me to make it through the tough times, like the pain of clogged ducts or the exhaustion of hour-long feedings every 2 hours. It still feels like an uphill battle, but seeing how happy and satisfied she is after nursing and knowing that I am doing what is best for her keeps me going. I am determined to make this work! Here's a photo of my sweet girl around 2 or 3 weeks old after she finished nursing. She gets so relaxed that she often falls asleep on the nursing pillow. :)

I would like to add that we have been seeing Dr Saenz at the MS Breastfeeding Medicine Clinic in Madison since Eleanor was about a week old. They are fantastic and so helpful. I was worried going in that we would be scolded for giving Eleanor some formula to supplement feedings since my milk didn't come in until the evening of day 5 or for using the shield to get her to latch. I'm not sure why I thought this, but they were nothing but positive and encouraging. Dr S even suggested that I pump sometimes and give her the expressed milk in a bottle. Her nurse showed us how to give the bottle in a way that more closely mimics nursing so she has to work for it. They also told me that the shield thingies that came with my breast pump were too small. I had no idea there were different sizes. It's been wonderful to get their feedback and not feel rushed. They are a great resource for any breastfeeding mom.

What's in a name?

We didn't name Eleanor until she was born. We had picked a few favorites but we wanted to meet her before we decided on a name. I was a little surprised at how many people had a negative reaction to this. We didn't think it was that strange to wait. I knew when we saw her that we would know which one fit.

I wanted my daughter to have a beautiful, strong name with meaning. I find that I'm drawn to classic names as opposed to trendy ones. Eleanor was an easy choice, since I've always liked Eleanor Roosevelt. I found that some meanings for Eleanor include light and compassion. The middle name was a little more difficult. We settled on Clara as a nice compliment to Eleanor and a play on the County Clare, our favorite place in Ireland (land of the Freenys). Clara means clear or bright and is a Spanish word as well, which Brad likes.

So, our baby girl is named Eleanor Clara, a "bright light" in our lives. One of Brad's students said regarding her name, "She sounds important." To which Brad replied, "She is!"

6th anniversary

On May 28, 2011, we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. This was our first chance at a date night since Eleanor was born. It felt really good to get dressed up and wear heels again. We didn't go far - just to the Irish Frog in Clinton, where we listened to one of Brad's former students playing in the pub. Brad entertained me by imitating Eleanor's many facial expressions. It was nice to get away for a little while and feel like ourselves again. Above is one of our first family photos from that special night. And below is a photo of us at our wedding.

Haven't changed a bit! :)

And then there were three

After 6 wonderful years of marriage, Brad and I were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. As happy as we were to find out that we were pregnant, I was worried about how we would adjust to this new chapter of our lives since it has just been the two of us for so long. Sure, people told us that it would just click after she was born, but I had my doubts. As soon as I held my little girl, I was overwhelmed by the love I felt for her. I could not believe that this precious baby had been inside of me for the past 9 months. I held her close and tried to memorize every inch of her beautiful face. It turns out that everyone was right; it does just click.


Eleanor Clara was born on May 11, 2011. She arrived 3 weeks early, as I was having issues with preeclampsia. We went in the night before around midnight for observation, since my blood pressure was consistently high and wouldn't come down. We thought I'd probably go home on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy, but my doctor thought it would be best to induce. I didn't have my bags packed or anything. The next morning, as I alerted everyone about the induction, Brad raced home to grab some things we might need for the hospital. By the time he returned, Dr. K had already broken my water (Ouch!), and we were on our way! I was induced at about 8:30 am and got the epidural around 10:30 am. I started pushing around 1:30 pm, and Eleanor was born at 3:17 pm, weighing 5 lbs 15 oz and was 19.5 inches long. Brad was so supportive through it all, giving me encouragement and ice chips when I needed it, holding my hand the whole way through. I couldn't ask for a better partner.

And so our little family of two became a family of three. Parenthood has been both wonderful and exhausting at the same time. We haven't slept for more than a few hours at a time for the past two months. Our days consist of feeding, changing, soothing and bathing Eleanor. Somewhere in there, we find time for a shower or dinner. But even though our life has changed so drastically, we just adore our little girl and wouldn't change a thing!

Lollipops & Raindrops

In honor of our latest adventure (parenthood), we've decided to start a new blog from scratch. Hopefully, we'll update this one more often. In between feedings, diaper changes, crying spells, and naps, we talked about what to title it. Brad wanted to use a line from one of his favorite childhood movies, Pete's Dragon. So we landed on, "Life is lollipops and raindrops with the one you love," because that's how we feel. :)

Our little family, June 2011